only i know.

blessed are the hearts that can bend; they shall never be broken.

2010-06-12T18:48:00.000+08:00

the greatest irony of life is loving the right person at the wrong time,
having the wrong person when the time is right and finding out you love someone after the person walk out of your life and sometimes you think you're already over a person but when you see them smile at you, you'll suddenly realise that you're just pretending to be over them just to ease the pain knowing that they will never be yours again. For some they think that letting go is one way of expressing how much you love the person. Most relationship tend to fail not because of the absence of love; love is always present. It is just one was being loved too much while the other was being loved too little and as we all know that the heart is the center of the body but it beats on the left. Maybe that is the reason why the heart is not always right. Most of ten we fall in love with the person we think we love only to discover that for them, we are just for past times, while the one who truly loves us remains either as friend or stranger.

Here's a piece of advice:
let go when you're hurting too much,
give up when love isn't enough
and move on when things are not like before.
there is someone out there who will love you even more,
surely then,
you will know true love.

POSTED BY SHAZ

what is love?

2010-03-18T02:40:00.001+08:00

sometimes you just wonder,
sometimes you just needed an answer.
unknowingly the answer came.
not a definite one,
but something that is close to your heart.
something you might hope for.

what is love?
love is friendship.
without a bestfriend,
there is no love.
without love,
there is no bestfriend.
(quoted from hindi movie; kuch kuch hota hai)

what is love again?
being able to set one free,
and wait till they return.
if they do,
you know they were,
and will always be yours.

for the last time,
what is love?
being able to restrain yourself.
seeing the one you love with someone else,
feeling your heart ache,
knowing they could be so near yet so far.
holding your love back,
for it is not returned.

one wish.

POSTED BY SHAZ

FATE

2010-02-13T01:18:00.000+08:00

okay so yeaterday was a fateful and lucky day for me.
after school went to meet up with dear shooting people. my awesome friends! ok so i was on the mrt when my phone died and i had no idea where they were apart from at far east.

to cut the story short. initial plan was to watch movie at cineleisure at 4pm. they were at far east so i went to orchard to find them there. but hell i had no idea exactly where cus my phone died. i was unreachable and ALONE! i kinda panic. it was almost 4pm ok so i was torn whether i should go far east or wait for them at cine.

being lost dat day, i went the long way to far east through the patterson link. and here i missed my FIRST CHANCE. i saw my new classmate amirah. i could have stopped her ask to switch sim card for awhile to call but i only said hi and few other words but not the smart plan. ok so i continued walking until i reach far east.
took a turn or two and it was already 4pm so i decided to leave for cine cus i really thought they would be there alr waiting for me.

this time before exiting far east i was praying damn hard to god for help and then comes my SECOND CHANCE. i saw muhammad! my saviour. used to be from temasek. i finally told him what trouble i was in then he lend me his phone. damn lucky.... but before anything charis came by.... she's my shooting girl but not the one i was suppose to meet. she called the rest for me and lucky enough for me that firstly they were still at far east eating. secondly i did not leave far east for cineleisure cus thirdly the movie was at 4.30 and it was at LIDO INSTEAD!

moral of story is that
a) charge your phone to full battery before going out
b) memorise your friends number
c) pray to god cus he will be there for you

i am certainly a damn lucky girl today.
POSTED BY SHAZ

. . .

2010-01-18T01:25:00.000+08:00

well this is what people usually do when it is new year or maybe a day before. i suppose it is not too late. 2009 has not been very satisfying for me or should i say down the hill kind of feeling. 2010 a new year and i shall make it up the hill.

growing
mature. the transition from 17 to being 18, have not been an easy one. life's a roller coaster. hell of a ride for myself and many others. emotions running high and only those significant could tell while others watch from the surface. ignorant. with that i hope 18 would make me different. the better difference.

cherish
like i always say friends walk in and out of your life, only true friends will stay. i am glad that every school that i went, i have that bunch of beings that i could turn to and rely on and i am really glad that they remain as the few constants in life. that few constants do really play a big role in my life. they are important. i may need so many of them. just a few of them will do. a few sincere and honest ones.

surprises
only god knows what life has in store for you. what lies ahead. however not everything will come to you as a surprise but when they do come it may either be a pleasant or a not so pleasant one. i believe in destiny and fate that leads to many surprises.

POSTED BY SHAZ

i gotta feeling

2010-01-07T01:17:00.002+08:00

Love is like tug of war - it hurts so bad to hold on, but for some odd reason, you just can't seem to let go.

I don't know why we all hang on to something we know we're better off letting go. It's like we're scared to lose what we don't even really have.

That was the thing; you never got used to it. You never got used to the idea of someone being gone. Just when you think you've accepted it, someone points it out to you and it'd hit you all over again.

Being able to survive a failed relationship and a broken heart doesn't mean it was ever okay.

To myself and anyone who's constantly feeling vulnerable: you need to have a little faith, not everyone you love is going to leave you.

(Above is taken from bits and pieces of runawaytrain.tumblr.com pieced together)

so be it new or old wounds, sometimes it will never really cure. i suppose old wounds were meant to teach us lessons but somehow some lessons just have to be taught over and over and over again before it finally sinks in.

"If i had a snowflake for every time i thought of you, we’d have a really white Christmas." — Charlie Brown

define

2010-01-02T01:39:00.003+08:00

i was looking through an old diary of mine and here goes ...

* love the heart that hurts you,
but never hurt the heart that loves you.

* true love does not come by finding the perfect person
but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

* if you love someone,
set it free.
if it comes back, it was, and will always be yours.
if it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.

* love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

* true love never lives happily ever after,
true love has no ending.

* there is no mistaking love when you feel it in your heart.

* love fails only when we fail to love.

* love is friendship set on fire.

* love is the giver, not the gift.

* to be loved, be lovable!

* absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.

* what lies behind us and what lies before us
are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.

* you love simply because you can't help it.

* love is like a war,
easy to begin but hard to end.

broken hearted

2009-12-31T23:00:00.002+08:00

hey you. this is how u should be thinking. it doesn't end just there...
walk the road and be strong :)

Once I loved
I wonder where it all went
Lonely and brokenhearted I sit my life spent
It cost me everything
It left me all alone It has robbed my dream
Tears streaming like a river down my face
my entire world so misplaced
All my strength is gone and yet...
like a trooper I carry on
Wiping the tears from my face
unlike the love from my heart
that I cannot erase
Brokenhearted and all alone
still I journey on...
and I wait for the time
that I will again feel strong...
and I will, again feel strong.

ps: this is what you should be telling yourself

secrets and love

2009-12-27T02:30:00.002+08:00

i don't know why but i just feel the need to blog this.
dont't even ask me why i've been holding myself back from blogging. perhaps i was just too caught up with other things in life.

speaking of which i shall dwell into the idea of secrets. some say a secret is better when it is shared by 2 or more, to others it could mean that it is no longer a secret. well it depends on the person individually. personally a secret to me means something that nobody else know but you yourself. something that can never truly be shared. where no one can ever imagine or even think about it. something that would never cross others mind but stayed within yours. many of us have dark dirty little secrets.

love. a beautiful word on its own. i just love the word LOVE itself. when i first saw that word and got to know of the meaning, i just felt that it looks like what it means. simply LOVE. sometimes in life, our love is unheard cause they've never been told and it remained just that. sometimes you wish for miracles to happen with regard to love. however sometimes they say that love is watching from afar. letting that loved one go with their choice while you stand there and watch them from a distance. you can't tell whether your heart is swelling with happiness or shattering. oh well only time will tell. and sometimes you just wonder if one will know of your love without your confession.

someone

2009-11-07T12:21:00.000+08:00

“Wait for the person who pursues you, the one who will make an ordinary moment seem magical, the kind of person who brings out the best in you and makes you want to be a better person. Wait for the person who will be your bestfriend, the only person who will drop everything to be with you at any time no matter what the circumstances, for the person who makes you smile like no one else and when they smile, you know they need you. Wait for the person who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats and a t-shirt, but appreciates it when you get dressed up for them. And most of all wait for the person who will put you at the center of their universe, because that’s where you belong.”

-tumblr

those eyes

2009-10-12T20:57:00.002+08:00

sometimes when our eyes meet,
i cant tell what it means,
or what is the underlying feelings.
why do you often make me feel this way.

is it just me?
or is it us?
i can barely tell
for what lay ahead of us.

not once,
not twice,
nor thrice have i observed
that our eyes often meet

on the crossroads
and intersections
where we could only pass each other
and utter no words

if only those eyes of yours could whisper to me...
i could only wish.

crossing paths

2009-09-15T15:57:00.002+08:00

"When the orbits of these two satellites of ours happened to cross paths, we could be together. Maybe even open our hearts to each other. But that was only for the briefest moment. In the next instant we'd be in absolute solitude. Until we burned up and became nothing."

Haruki Murakami (Sputnik Sweetheart)

what it means to move on.

2009-09-06T20:20:00.002+08:00

I’ve never understood the reasoning for someone to “move on” from a relationship. It’s not like you are really going to “move on”. You are just trying to tell your heart to stop thinking about that person all the time, until it finally becomes a routine and you don’t notice it anymore. That is, until you see that person again, with someone who isn’t you, and then you have to remind yourself again.

(http://runawaytrain.tumblr.com)

thanks tiqqs, it was a nice one and

i happen to like this one alot.

2009-09-02T21:23:00.001+08:00

"You know what I think?" she says.
"That people's memories are maybe the fuel they burn to stay alive. Whether those memories have any actual importance or not, it doesn't matter as far as the maintenance of life is concerned. They're all just fuel. Advertising fillers in the newspaper, philosophy books, dirty pictures in a magazine, a bundle of ten-thousand-yen bills: when you feed 'em to the fire, they're all just paper. The fire isn't thinking 'Oh, this is Kant,' or 'Oh, this is the Yomiuri evening edition,' or 'Nice tits,' while it burns. To the fire, they're nothing but scraps of paper. It's the exact same thing. Important memories, not-so-important memories, totally useless memories: there's no distinction--they're all just fuel."

— Haruki Murakami (After Dark)

but i do still feel strongly for memories... hmm...

storm

2009-09-01T10:57:00.002+08:00

"Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. Why? Because this storm isn't something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. This storm is you. Something inside of you. So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn't get in, and walk through it, step by step. There's no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That's the kind of sandstorm you need to imagine.

And you really will have to make it through that violent, metaphysical, symbolic storm. No matter how metaphysical or symbolic it might be, make no mistake about it: it will cut through flesh like a thousand razor blades. People will bleed there, and you will bleed too. Hot, red blood. You'll catch that blood in your hands, your own blood and the blood of others.

And once the storm is over you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about." — Haruki Murakami (Kafka on the Shore)

itchy itchy ya ya cha cha

2009-07-13T19:50:00.003+08:00

2 days mc, oh what heaven.
rashes making me itch all day long here and there.
feeling like a monkey with all the lice.
hahah. well not exactly that bad.
it's been 3 weeks.

i went today and my doctor is finally in.
she saw my rashes and she only uttered one word.
VIRUS.
i asked how come, again she said,
VIRUS.
that was indeed helpful.

was given pills, cream and a box of tea bags.
yes tea bags. now ill have to burden my mama.
she will have to boil hot water and put the tea bag in to prepare me for my bath.
every bath.
im sorry mama...
thank you so much and i love you.
she will never complain,
unlike how much i would do so sometimes when she ask me to massage her and everything.
bad bad girl.

the most unawesome part would be the injection.
the doc, "girl, are you scared of needle?"
i went through blood donation so i thought this wouldn't be so bad.
i was like ooohhkay, and i asked where?

"ON YOUR BUTT"
i was like "whuuuuuuut?"
i want to heal fast so i didn't complain.
and after all it wasn't so bad. hahhaa.

first time. whoo!

and below was what my dear sheeka said when i told her i got that injection.
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA seriously? Hahahaha so the doc saw your cute butt? Hahahaha ala cute nye. Get well soon ok!"

hahaha. cute eh!?
and thanks to my cuppycakes girlfriends in mjc that wished me well.

. . .

2009-07-12T16:45:00.003+08:00

friends come and go,
true friends stays a lifetime.

do you really think i influence them?
did they see it unfold right before their own eyes?

friendship

2009-07-06T00:34:00.003+08:00

Build A Box Of Friendship

by Chuck Pool

Into a box of friendship
To insure that it is strong
First a layer of respect
On the bottom does belong.

Then to the sides attach,
In the corners where they meet,
Several anchors full of trust,
Devoid of all deceit.

The height of friendship can be measured
By the sides of four,
So make them all a larger cut,
And the box will hold much more.

Now fill it up with courtesy,
Honor and esteem,
Understanding, sympathy,
And passion for a dream.

Add to that your honesty,
Emotions joy and love,
And since they�re so important,
Place them up above

But leave the box wide open
So all can see inside,
To learn what makes a friendship work
From the box you built with pride.

A Friend

by Sir Shotgun

A friend is the one who tells you the truth
regardless of the cost,
A friend will help you find the thing's
you'd given up as lost

A friend will never put you down
or make you feel alone,
He'll smile and try to comfort you
'cause together you have grown

A friend is the one who picks you up
when you've fallen on the ground,
A friend is the one whose voice at night
is a welcome, warming sound

So when you think you're on your own
and wish you had a helping hand,
Remember, a friend is the one who,
when you cry, will always understand

Because the world is full of people
who will laughingly pretend,
But, when it's said and done
you're lucky if you've got a friend ...

What Is A Friend?

by Kit McCallum

A friend is someone you hold dear:
Someone who is always there, through thick and thin;
Someone who is only a phone call away.

A friend is someone you can always rely on:
Someone who is there to share your thoughts with;
Someone to listen, no matter the subject.

A friend is someone you can feel comfortable with:
Someone you can sit silently beside, without conversation;
Someone you do not need to fill the quiet moments with.

A friend is someone you can trust:
Someone who will guard your deepest secrets;
Someone who will never let you down.

A friend is someone who is not judgmental:
Someone who will gently offer advice and opinions,
Yet, someone who is not overbearing or critical.

A friend is someone who can keep you grounded:
Someone who can help you see through your obstacles;
Someone to shoulder you through life's trials.

A friend is someone who shares unconditionally:
Someone to laugh and to cry with;
Someone to lean on, through both the good and the bad.

A friend is someone you choose wisely,
For a friend is your own mirrored image:
Someone to compliment your own self;
Someone who indicates who you are as a person.

And Where Were You?

by Valerie

I never thought I'd see this day,
I never thought I'd feel this way,
You...a stranger to me now.
I'm left with emptiness...
I wish I knew how it could be,
That we were once so open and free.
You were like my brother.. yet so much more
I wish I would have seen what I see now before.
For, I did not and it's too late...
My friend, my lover once, is now unknown.
And what hurts the most is I now know..
What I lost.. and I'm alone.
To face a challenge life has sent,
And not a moment with you I've spent.
I hope one day I can forgive you, my friend..
I miss you....
Why did you go?

My Best Friend

by Sheri Goodwin

I'm not sure when it happened
But I'm very glad it did
You came into my life when
I really needed a friend

The more I get to know you
The more I know myself
And this is why I'm thankful
For you are just yourself

You and I are different
And in many ways the same
Your good ear, compassionate heart
Will always find you fame

I promise to always be here
Forever and to the end
You are the true definition of
My Very Best Friend!
(this is for you SHEEKA)

reflections

2009-06-20T22:33:00.003+08:00

there are actually 5 parts to this post.
so bear with me.
it's mostly about my thoughts and opinions.
on how i perceive things.

1)so first up please help yourself to this video.
some may have seen it. some may not.
it is called the lost generation.
on how we youngsters can actually take a different turn towards the changes that is occuring,
it is really awesome.
how they do it.

2) and so i've watched KAMI THE MOVIE. seriously. it's a super awesome malaysian production on teenage youths. dont worry... it's uber cool trust me. it came out last year though, but i only watch it today. my sister got me hooked to this, its actually a drama series called KAMI. its about this 5 friends, can say around our age, going gigs and stuff like dat.

check out this video. it is only a part of the movie. its funny (listen properly to the dialogue) yet touching at the same time. you guys should totally watch this movie and the series....

3) this is just a random thought.
when we were younger we tend to get into some misunderstandings.
but once you grow out of it,
you find it foolish.
you'll laugh it off.

saw some pictures,
and here i thought about this.
life is really an interesting journey.
whether or not you learn to appreciate it.
spare some thoughts about the past,
im pretty sure u'll find something to laugh about.
something you thought you would never do.

this is growing up.

4)
today i witness the marriage of my cousin with a chinese lady who has converted into islam.
it was a happy yet solemn occasion because my late uncle is unable to see this.
but im sure he's somewhere out there watching over us.
talking about him still bring tears to my eyes.

im sure after the akad nikah,
when they took photo of the bride and groom along with my aunt,
someone was missing.
the picture wasnt complete. it wasnt. but we all know we cant help it.

another touching thing was seeing someone convert into islam.
how strong love is and what it can do.
what realization it brings to others about islam.

sometimes i feel these people make batter muslims.

5) at the nikah, i cant help it but take pictures of my lovely nieces and nephews(from my cousins). they're just so adorable...

support me!

2009-06-18T20:19:00.002+08:00

go to
http://chickychunkyard.blogspot.com

be excited!
lotsa stuffs there...
and best of all ,
they can be yours...
so check them out!

updatesupdatesupdates

2009-06-18T13:46:00.002+08:00

16th june

so excited to meet my dearest primary school friends.
i thought i was going to be late as usual.
for those who have known me long enough i'm hardly punctual. ever.
but on that day i was the ifirst to reach because my dear friends all "janji melayu" or 'malay promise' something to mean that we malays are hardly on time but i suppose it applies to some people only. like me. hahah. was waiting for them at our usual phonebooth and nest to come was saiful, followed him to the library for awhile and we met his mother on the way there. said hi n stuff. shikin came afterwards and we waited for the other 2 guys to come. muizz and huzairi. din and fazley met us at cineleisure. DRAG ME TO HELL! it was worth the $6 bucks but not more. it was a hell of scarily funny movie. everytime after i screaam i would just laugh. they are one of the few constants in my life. i hope it would remain that way... hahah... love ya'll ... sadly i was suppose to meet my dear sports caps at simpang at 7 pm. i was soo late cus the movie only ended after 7. hahha. so yeah couldnt join them for sheesha. perhaps next time ...

ok so at simpang there was marcus,ikhwan,aqeel,suhaila,sylvia,yeesee,ahmed black,ahmed white, barbara and anthony(barbs new bf). first glance i thought he was a malay but nah finally she've found a caucasian boy(her own kind). hahah. happy for u babe. good catch!

ate then we went to school.. to join our dear sport cap juniors. miss them loads. they were having night walk then. was too lazy to scare so i joined to the rest and guess what!? i watched yet 2 more ghost stories. the grudge and shutter. gosh wat a day of ghost movie marathon for me.

ouh yeah that morning i finally set up my blog shop!!!
go check it out and support me yeah...
http://chickychunkyard.blogspot.com

1 whole night i dint sleep.
watch hannah montana movie with ikhwan on his ipod.
we talked throughout the night.
catching up on things.

he asked me this,
what do you feel when guys come up to you and ask for my number?
there were a few occasions but i dint really give a thought to how i feel.
interesting. hahah.

and yeah ikhwan and i bluffed a junior that we were related...
and she really thought so.
edna knor... you bimbo girl...hhaha

okkk need to follow my mum go supermarket....
will update later on yesterday's happenings!

get moving

2009-06-15T09:06:00.002+08:00

ive been up and awake since 7.
havent bathe up till now.
did a little math and went to the front of my comp enjoying the music on my blog.
yes weird but yeah. did so.
this is so not awesome please...

ive really not done anything much for my mid years
worried sick for myself
but aint budging
ive got to be kidding myself but yeah

then tmr i'll be meeting my primary school friends... totally miss you people
ashikin, atika, farhanah, nadiah, din, saiful, airil, buaya, muizz, shasha, fadhlon
cant wait...

afterwards tmr i'll be off to my sec school...
finally joining my sports captains at camp..
miss them as well...
miss feeling at home back in temasek...
gonna meet up with other seniors at simpang...
finally i get to eat my roti john king! yummy!

so ive pratically wasted 2 weeks of my holidays not mugging properly
or i should say not muggin at all
so here comes my 14 days to mug..................

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

shuddup.

title- less

2009-06-13T10:12:00.003+08:00

i cant believe it.
i didnt miss any dance trainings at all.
from monday to friday.
i survived it. how awesome can that be and i made one realisation.
it couldnt be as bad as i had expected.
i am really glad i could do a little ballet and contemparary.
ms wee said she can see i was trying. yes indeed i was and it paid off.
the thought of how much i have improved was blissful.

sze ern came to me and gave me a pat on my shoulder saying "keep it up! you've improved."
thanks ern, that was an encouragement.
before dance started i always fear ms wee and mr zaki for some reason.
however this week, i learn that if you really try and they can see your effort they wont scream at you. as long as you dont repeat the mistakes they have corrected. just keep improving and grow into a better dancer. i really wish for that.

yesterday after dance i went to cineleisure with sze ern, kimberly, ethel to watch dance subaru. it made me cry at the last part. it was awesome. namira came later as well to watch with us. she made us miss 10 mins of the show cause she got lost. hahah. nahh just kidding babe. after the movie we went home to mug.

haven been doing any studying at all. i better start to mug like now seriously.
gonna meet carebear to mug later...!

pants on fire

2009-05-23T01:12:00.001+08:00

I have a thing for liars.

HATRED.

ignorance is bliss

2009-05-20T23:04:00.002+08:00

is it true that ignorance is bliss in life?
like how i watch a man walk on the path across mine in the opposite direction.
he simply did something that was unexpected for a man walking alone around 9pm.
alone he was, he tried dancing or was it something like a basketball movement.
i had no idea but he certainly dint have any music on.
carefree as he seems i envy him.
he totally ignored the surrounding he was in.
man clad in soccer jersey and he certainly looked sane.
even if he wasn't i would still envy.

how i wish i could ignore someone in life.
imagine he was never present in your life.
he never existed.
for the pain you would not have went through.

but then again,
he gave you the memories to cherish.
he became something you treasure most.
and he made you feel so awkward without him near you.

the least i want is to at least ease these pain away even after a long time.
just let me be numb.
dont let my heart jump.
dont let my tears fall.

if ignorance was as simple.
if ignorance could be as blissful.

as steady as rock.never faltered, never wavered. never failed.

2009-05-15T01:20:00.002+08:00

positive outlook on life is what i need. to pick myself up before i fall further into the ditch. get up girl. get going. yeah, that's my girl there. that's her. for a reason i feel i should start believing in that phrase. as steady as rock. never faltered, never wavered. never failed. well not entirely true that i could ever run aware from failure. but in a way that is to overcome them and they are no longer called failure. go girl catch you dreams for whatever they are, they will always be within your reach. if you would work hard enough that is my dear.

go shaz.

OK

2009-05-05T10:59:00.003+08:00

how cute! fiqah's face... haha
from left:shikin,atiqa,fiqah,irdayu,me,sarah

dudes and dudettes.
adri,azmi,wafiy,azmi,aman,faris,shikin,me,nisa,fiqah,hafiz

random much but im home now and not in school.
should i still go school?
oh well.
PI ... cmon! 3rd draft baybeh.

so here's a little update.
last friday, labour day.
went out with my girlfriends and later met up with the dudes.
took effing long to decide what to do.
n finally esplanade it was. sat by the bay...
with tong tong cheng in the background cus they had this chinese performance.
ate our macD's.
we played spin the bottle.

yepp and it was all truth with no dare.
all spilled.

so okay less than a month to mid years.
im totally doomed.

gotta run.

phew!

2009-04-19T11:39:00.002+08:00

alot of catching up to do ehs.
so lets work backwards on whats been taking place in my life,
just the significant ones.

1)karaoke
yesterday morning, had dance. followed my family to breakfast and spent some time shopping at sheng shiong. the girls were coming over to my place. so i had to clear my house. cus it was in a mess to me. so i was vacuuming and all looking like some maid. and before i could finish my chore, they reached. only fiqah,nisa and shikin could make it. later mun joined. had ice cream and all... karaoke dint last long until we watch hindi movie.

2)donated blood on friday in school, john's birthday
that was the last day to donate blood in school. i was afraid. fiqah and i were contemplating to donate. but in the first place even before they came to school, i already wanted to donate blood, so this is my chance. sadly after the long waiting hour, fiqah couldnt donate cus her veins were too fine. it was my turn. dint dare to look the needle when they poke in. dint feel anything. it felt good(: happy i did it.

3)syf on thursday
i dint take GP test cus i was out to watch the syf. it was beautiful. really. they dont deserve a silver. later during the debrief the teachers mention about having a concert next year because syf only happens on alternate years. pretty excited bout that.

4)shooting outing
it was after movie marathon. slept for some time and went out again with my school team. ended up buy knickers from topshop with jasmine. hahaha. i got the bat girl one while she gt the cookie monster. damn cute. watched shinjuku incident. nice. i like the movie somehow. though violent.

5)movie marathon
went with my girls again. nisa,fiqah,atiqa,shikin,sarah and i. they shopped for the food and drinks. only mt up with them later in school. had cca earlier on. 3/4 of the time we were not watching movie. cus we ended up outside the hall playing all sorts of games with the boys. it started with game of life where only fadhil,faris and syukri played. later it was a mass joke and game thing. we played a "steady tempo ready go" game and the next few days when i was out i heard this 2 little kids playing the game as well. hilarious to me.

pardon me cus all of me para had abrupt ending. cus im not suppose to be doing this now... hahaha..... toodles....

hectic.

HAPPY 57TH BIRTHDAY ABAH!

2009-04-06T23:23:00.002+08:00

so this morning i was in the cab with him as he was fetching me to school.
he took out the log out and asked plainly what was today's date?
i took pretty long before i answer him.
i said " april 6th"
and that number struck me for a moment.
i said " it's your birthday abah!"
he seemed like he's forgotten all about his own birthday
sometimes he would not even his own birthdate.

so happy birthday abah! i love you!
my father is getting pretty old ehh.
half a century gone plus the additional seven years he lived.

i wonder how would my children be like when im 57?
so the day pass in school quite slowly.

was in school with fiqah until quite late.
later went to compasspoint to get my father's birthday cake.
thanks to fiqah who accompanied me all the way back to my sis place.
it was a nice long walk we had.

hearing a sccream when i exclaimed i saw a lizard without a tail.
hahah.

so here i am at my uncle's house, waiting for the right time to give my dad a surprise.
i am just so happy...!

ok so i admit again ive left my blog to rot.
a lot of things have been going on for sure.

one of the most memorable,
would be the prize presentation day of nationals.
shooters had our debrief.
all the girls became very emotional,
that when one cried,
the rest of us followed through with our tears of sadness.
for it marks the completion of our journey but dont worry its not the end yet(:
i love them all.

dab sebenarnya (and the truth...)

2009-03-27T00:30:00.002+08:00

oh bulan
enggan melayan diriku lagi
pabila
airmata membasahi pipi
dah lagu lagu di radio
seolah olah memerli aku
pabila
kau bersama yang lain

adakah perasaan benci ini
sebenarnya cinta
yang masih
bersemadi untukmu
dan sebenarnya ku mengharapkan
disebalik senyuman mu itu
kau juga
merindui aku

ku enggan
berpura pura ku bahagia
ku enggan
melihat kau bersama si dia
oh ku akui cemburu
mula menular dalam diri
pabila
kau bersama yang lain

pabila kau merenung matanya
ku rebah
jatuh ke bumi
disaat kau benar benar mahu pergi
seperti
ku bernafas dalam air

dan sebenarnya
aku rindu
aku tak mampu
tanpamu

dab sebenarnya

2009-03-27T00:30:00.001+08:00

bus ride with unique behaviour

2009-03-01T23:09:00.005+08:00

oblivious to my surrounding.
i went up 24; from terminal 3.

jolted when i caught a sudden movement from the woman on my left.
short white hair.
clad in pink hoodie.
wrinkles seen, frown appeared.
music blasting from her earphones.
OLD.
yes old.
perhaps a grandma to me. indeed to my surprise.
fast beat song was playing.
shared with many in the bus.
just blasting from her earphones.

i was sitting on the outside sit near the aisle.
she was sitting on the outside on the other side,
just imagine.

she swerved in her seat.
real fast. i swear.
the movement that me jolt.
just because an indian man wanted to sit on the inside.

she got frustrated.
slammed her bag in her lap.
like a little girl frustrated that she didn't get her ice cream.
that was the look on her face.
but she is old.
old.

very.

she then gave the man a glare.
stood up and moved to another seat where she could sit alone.
a rash action.

but then again, when a nice lady that smiled at her.
the pink old woman became kind.
she touch the elbow of the nice lady and gestured her to sit.
she took out her stereo from her silver bling2 bag.
yes a mini stereo.
and tried to share her music with the nice lady.

i was surprised by her various actions.
the kind of changes coming from one person withing minutes;
in a bus ride.

i just love to watch people.
i could sit still at one place all day.
just watching.
letting time pass.

this is what i observe.
human interaction just intrigue me,
so interesting watching human.

human or inhuman.
she was one unique lady.
a weirdly nice one.

i decided to stop looking when the old aunty beside me wanted to alight.
i stood up so that it would be easier for her to exit.
she turned and smiled.
i like to see old people smile.
they just look cuter.
very cute.
that was alot random.
but all in all, this would totally be a day of many reflections.

just watching people.
i wonder will i be like those old aunty on buses?
only time will tell.

today was memorable.
caught up with vic and yeesee.
i just miss them alot.
they must be so honoured and big headed now.
hahaha.

ate popeyes! and took many pics.
crazy ones.
more on facebook.

gelare on tues okay...
yeesee.. im waiting (:

yet another day

2009-03-01T01:32:00.002+08:00

so i have left my blog to rot for quite sometime. always too tired or too busy with something else that i am just too lazy to update my blog. so i have decided i should blog today for it is an interesting day for me.

met john at t3 to study and coincidentally i figured we were not the only meridians at the airport. how ironic when a few minutes ago we were just wondering if any meridian would be at t3. and yepp indeed a few. saw the kuda kuda house captain and several mirandas and the soccer people. made new friends. and later nisa joined us.

and so we did tutorials and all. i only managed to do 2 things out of the many things i wish to complete. haha but it is ok.

anyway i am so pleased with my hair today as it was at its best condition when i least expected it. perhaps it was due to the air condition and the cool weather through out. really love it.

later sadiq came for a bit and he got me a GREEN CAREBEAR! haha. thanks babe. now i get to see him on my shelf every single day. and how corny could this line be ... " i brought the thumbdrive you asked for but it is stuck to something." there he pulled out the thumbdrive that was attached to the bear. aww. hahaha. sweet. thanks really. AWESOME. LIKE TOTALLY! seriously appreciated. dint think you would really get that. hahhaha.

so when i was on the way home. i was laughing alone. well not exactly alone. but the laughter of a toddler tickles me and i just couldnt resist but laugh as well. too cute. she's very smart indeed. just mimicking whatever her brother does. UGH! wish i could just pinch her or something. hhhahah.

the bad part is that i thought taking 24 would be faster but i was stuck in a jam as there was flood near expo so the bus had to detour. but it was a nice long ride.

i like long rides.

i miss you.
happy birthday.
though it is not exactly the day ;

random catching up

2009-02-10T21:36:00.002+08:00

so it was second day of my second week and my chem assignment is due on friday. AWESOME! true MJ is a mugger school. so far nothing that interesting has happened. orientation was awesome and that was it.

looking forward to more things. either i wait for things to happen or take a step forward and make them happen?

well today was ultimately random for me. after school waited with fairuz and munirah for siti and other literature girls. met up with ahmed, sadiq, su and yuan yuan afterwards.

so this very unpleasant and unlucky thing happened.
me, siti and munirah were waiting for the traffic to turn green. we waited for sometime. moreover across the road we saw that the opposite traffic was being repaired or something. so we thought the traffic was not working and crossed. little did we know we actually jaywalked.

across the road a policeman stopped us and took down our name. saying we would be fine $20. i don't know what to say to that. a lot of people were stopped. others manage to escape as the policeman was busy writing other names. it was unbelievable i was in suck situation. call it luck. i suppose there was a reason for the traffic being fixed at such point of time and us being caught. i refuse to believe it was pure accident. UGH!

damn.

anyway the happy bit came in later when the rest came. a little reunion that brought about much laughter that i miss since the day i entered mjc.
i guess such laughter would come in soon for me...

i wish.

quick post

2009-02-09T00:16:00.003+08:00

latest update.
MJC was hell of fun!
here's a photo of my class and OGL's.
the rest will be on facebook.
for my CG, i have emailed you guys the orientation photos yeah.

except to 4 people;
whom i suppose their email were written wrongly.

to my beloved primary school darlings,
so sorry... dint have the time to post the pics here.
posted all of them on my facebook.
atika and shikin have grabbed them all so you guys might wana get from them as well yeah.

it was a celebration for the january babies.
nadiah, shikin and me.

had hell of fun with them.
as usual.

WHO ARE WE!!??
HAHAHA.

nights.
muacks!

AQUARIUS!

2009-02-01T23:16:00.002+08:00

The Sweetheart
Optimistic and honest.
Sweet personality.
Very independent.
Inventive and intelligent.
Friendly and loyal.
Can seem unemotional.
Can be a bit rebellious.
Very stubborn, but original and unique.
Attractive on the inside and out.
Eccentric personality.

that's totally me baby!

firehouse!

2009-01-30T01:34:00.002+08:00

so i did nothing all day on my birthday. when my sister came. i just thought of going swensens to get my complimentary HAPPY BIRTHDAY FIREHOUSE. so i left house a few hours back around 10 ish to head for T2 swensens as it is one of the 24 hour outlets. we dine in and had a sweet sister bonding session over the supper.

so much for getting rid of my huge pimple after the chocolate cake rubbed on my face that i am eating such sumptuous food like the ice cream and my mac and cheese. yummy!
i certainly have to get rid of my pimple before monday that is... aahhh. VAIN! hahaha. first day of school ... hotstuff awaits... so i must get rid of my horrendous pimple... ughh... hahahaha. DAMN.

ALSO many thanks to those who gave me birthday wishes. thank you.. i really appreciate it and this year i make it a point to mention every single one of you who wished me ... until this point in time... I LOVE YOU PEOPLE!!! MUUACCCKSS!

to those who wished me; victoria, rachelle, yeesee, ashikin, edna, leonard, fawwaz, khairi, ruben, guowei, sabila, siti, englee, abg mimi, kak rose, kak pita, kak yan, abg rezal, abg maman, kak ema, ahmed white, sheeka, cik jai, cik ayob, cik suri, wak hamed, cik ida, cik leha, xuefang, xue hen, jen, guan hong, yuanyuan, barbara, stephanie, michele, sadiq, yiinshin, joe, zuhdi, vino, hidayah, charlyn, atika, sangeetha, attention(pahang camp instructor), lina, farshad, amy, azfar, khalim, joseline, samuel liew, syafiq jabbar, nuriman, jianmin, aqeel, sakeenah, neville, zuhairi, karin, syahirah, divya, syahidin, shazlyn, shahida, leon, fazreena, baohui, jamie, leeann, wynn, nikita, mardiana, russell, syed, khaizal and ikhwan.

my personality

2009-01-29T20:09:00.008+08:00

LAID BACK DOER
Laid back doers are friendly, happy people. They enjoy being together with other people. Smart, eloquent, witty and charming, they like to be the centre of attraction. They do not like to be alone. Their zest for life ensures that others feel well in their company and that they quickly get to know people. Laid-back Doers get the best out of every moment - many people of this type have a gift for making their whole life one big party. Boredom is unknown in their presence because they are very good at carrying others away with their enthusiasm, their good mood and their optimism.

Abstract thinking and profound philosophizing about the meaning of life appeal less to Laid-back Doers. They are pragmatic, realistic and live completely in the here and now. At work too, they prefer it when it’s all go and they can act out their purposeful manner to the full. They have no problem handling several tasks at once and they blossom out in crisis situations! A varied field of activity with a lot of social contacts is just the right thing for them. One will also seldom find them inactive in their spare time; due to their open, curious nature, they mostly have many hobbies and interests. They are not afraid of the unknown: as they are flexible and creative, they quickly adjust to new situations and make the best of them. They sometimes come into conflict with strict rules or hierarchies by which they quickly feel constrained and against which they rebel.

As friends, Laid-back Doers are generous, helpful persons who attach great importance to harmonious relationships and a good atmosphere. Their sociable manner means that they have a large circle of friends and they love having the house full of many different types of guests. They are happy to give in to their spontaneous moods and fancies in the just one or two important things. This makes them appear somewhat unpredictable to those with a quieter nature. When it really matters, you can rely on them one hundred percent. As partners, they are creative, impetuous and imaginative - as long as their partner knows how to fascinate them. They can hardly stand boredom or routine in a relationship. They do not like conflicts at all; if a relationship becomes too strenuous or involves too much effort, they tend to withdraw from the partnership and start to look for a new partner. However, if one manages to keep their curiosity alive in the long term and surprise them again and again, one has a loyal and loving partner.

LAID BACK DOER IN LOVE
Your type’s trademark is “easygoing.” That applies to love just as to the rest of your life. For you, it is important that your partnership is a source of fun, excitement and inspiration. With a sentence like: “I think it is time for us to be working on our relationship again”, you can be chased out of the house in a hurry. You want to enjoy and not strain yourself, preferably with a partner who feels exactly the same way - someone who is as similar as possible, and with whom you have the least sources of friction.

Your disposition is warm, generous, and passionate. No wonder many people fall hopelessly in love with your charisma! Contrary to some other Doers, you have no problem expressing your feelings verbally, as well. Vivacious as you are, you are also capable of falling in love head over heels, with an unrivaled intensity. Whoever becomes the object of your love is showered with attention, declarations of love, and tenderness. You are not fond of boundaries, and your affection for someone is boundless and boisterous - as long as it lasts - because (and that is the flipside of the coin) only very few types manage to fascinate you and keep your interest in the long term. (whoo...interesting as well)

For you, there always has to be a little of the “magic,” a little of the enchantment of your relationship’s beginning. Otherwise, you quickly get bored and begin looking for a new challenge. Literature describes you as the type who is most likely to flirt with an affair if the titillation of love is not fresh any longer.(not really true, i am committed) Consequently, your partner is well advised to accept your passionate protestations about your eternal love with a certain skepticism: Even if you know that everything is going to stay that way for the rest of your life, for people of your type “forever” is better interpreted as “for now.” However, as long as you are happy with him/her your partner can literally bathe in your love and will in all likelihood have problems catching his/her breath, sexually as well. Your charisma and tendency for being extravagant turn you into an almost irresistible seducer.(whoo... interesting huh. hahaha!)

The purple ones are rather very true about myself. in fact really true and that is why i hightlighted the. for the red ones im sure you see the comments beside them... well perhaps it may be true.

Adjectives that describes my type

extroverted, practical, emotional, spontaneous, enthusiastic, friendly, playful, lively, talkative, nonchalant, tolerant, happy, pleasant, generous, flexible, wily, attractive, relationship-oriented, generous, adventurous, fun-loving, creative, helpful, action-loving, casual, sociable, open, sensitive, touchy, erratic, curious, noncommittal, action-loving

sweet 16 and sweeter 17!

2009-01-29T18:10:00.006+08:00

that is how i would describe my birthday.
my sweetest birthday ever ...
would certainly be my 17th birthday...

after celebrating with my girls i was told to go over to my uncle's place and so i did.
late at night my brother and cousin came down and waited for me at the bus stop.
that was usual for them to do such a thing.

we went up the lift. they made me walk ahead of them.
but i still thought that was usual.
little did i know they were texting my sister i suppose to get ready.

when we got there, everything seemed normal.
they said the rest were in my aunt's room.
i was at the door. before i even opened the door, my brother popped the party popper behind my back.

behind the door, my sisters, my mom, my aunt and my cousins..
"SURPRISE!!!"

i was indeed speechless at that moment.
never did i expected such a thing to happen.
until my birthday.

till now i have nothing to say to that apart from my greatest thank you to god for such a loving family.

I LOVE THEM! really.

my beloved mother and father.

my awesome family.

my great cousins, aunt and uncle.

the girl cousins.

the 2 devils... haha.

my pretty birthday cake...

the birthday girl. ME!

artsy with party hats ehh

thanks to them i got chocolate cream face mask!

the decorated room. CUTE! haha.

i just hope for an AWESOME year ahead. it has been a great start and hope it will just get better along the year. insya'allah...

alhamdullilah.

surprise surprise!

2009-01-29T17:49:00.004+08:00

well on 28th jan... was supposedly to be out with victoria,yeesee and siti. apparently they told me that yeesee was down with flu, sorethroat and all that she is bed ridden. so we were suppose to celebrate my birthday there then. hahah

so after my dsa briefing in mjc yesterday i went home to change and all before meeting them. i was early for the first time. well that was according to victoria so that she could make me wait like how ive always done to here.

and so victoria and i went to eat at a kfc nearby while our dear bed ridden yee see went home first after fetching. so to say she had to do her big business. hmm... right...

when we reach her place we still had to wait for our dear siti who was still at redhill or so. and when she finally came. i still had to wait for THEM to complete their BIG BUSINESS. hahaha

their BIG BUSINESS

LOVE IT!

siti got me a hippo,crocodile and elephant in a jar... heheh
the bikini vic and yee see got me! hahaha. thanks babes!

the FANTASTIC FOUR!

more of the havoc pictures posted on my facebook....

gathering

2009-01-26T12:47:00.007+08:00

so yesterday was eve of chinese new year and my family had a gathering. and sort of celebrating the january babies in the big family form my maternal side. had some friends over. did bbq on electrical bbq thing out at the corridor. sheeka came with a present in hand. got me the roxy purse that caught my eye the last time we went out. lovely as it is. thank you my dear... my aunty gave me a body shop perfume, aztique. the one sadiq used to use so no im goin to smell like him. hahahah.

the family of braziliano praia

the twins playing ps3

birthday cake

my cute birthday cake from uncle..hahah

me and batrisya

the bbq at corridor

the lot

creating chaos at the bus stop

singing out loud

catching up

laughing

beloved cousins

hahahaha. just so adorable

my presents

oh girls just wana have fun! and SURPRISE!

2009-01-26T12:01:00.006+08:00

so it was my sister's birthday. met up with vic to get my sister's present at heeren on 22nd feb. her birthday itself. that was went i went to num again. hehehe.

ok skipped that. woke up early just to cook fried macaroni for the girls and luckily they love it. vic even brought the leftovers home despite the spicy-ness. haha. so pahlawan beach was not really occupied as it was a weekday. we conquered it... cam whored and met 4 others girls from kranji sec. friendly lot they were. so here are some of the pictures...more will be on facebook!

later thst night we had a surprise for my sister who is turning old... she came home with a sad face cos none of us wished her happy birthday since morning. as if it was an ordinary day. she dint know what we had for her. when she was busy changing ... we lit the candles on the cake and i held the crumpler bag i got her. we hid beside my room door. when she came out we surprised. she was so taken aback that she knocked into the speakers. hahaha. should have seen the expression on her face.

random updates

2009-01-26T11:49:00.002+08:00

so one day i went to malaysia with family. just the few of us...got a pretty hair clip. another day went out with the family girls.... mostly did the shopping for my school shoes and bags and got my braziliano praia. 2 of them. daim. there goes my pay. hhaha. but it was awesome. the num guy working there was cute. and he is malay! he gave us membership BY LEFT! how awesome is that. and recently when i went there, he still recognises me! awww. ugh. victoria calls him burly... but he aint fat or anything. just that he's got the chest and triceps, biceps all... hahha. and kinda big. ok stoppit!

now i know what sadiq meant as dream girl the other night when we talked. hahhaa... i can say he's the sort of my dream guy look. hahhaah.

meeting strangers

2009-01-18T00:50:00.008+08:00

had training and finally the day has come. that i had to meet A. so A was going to be late and sheeka became my savior. she called just at the right time. and finally i get to meet fee after hearing so much about her.

so A apparently was very late for a first D. sheeka and fee kept me company and i became anxious... wondering how A would be like. they waited and we sat at esplanade riverside spotting for the correct A. came and i was sorta disappointed. but A was friendly and easy going. good to know A was comfortable around me but that is all. for me, that is all. friends we will become. so yeah. chatted at starbucks till it was time for me to go.

called sheeka for SOS. she was meeting estella and af. again for the first time joining them. so it was all unplanned. luckily A went a different way from me. so i dint have much of an explanation to do. though i felt bad. so i left to meet sheeka at peninsula and from there we walked to one Fullerton. got my choc cream chip frapp and we sat somewhere near there.

so meeting strangers afterall turns out fine to me. one even reacted as if we've known for long while other friendships are soon to grow...

and best of all - my BFF, twin(only she knows why) ... never changing.
always loving you... and yes she is great!
one who especially hates it when boys break my heart,
and if she gets bad vibes from them, she will never allow me to go with them.
though i often go with my way...
that is us...
like WE always say " so far yet so near"

that is her.

this is me.

ahh finally fee.

while waiting for A.haha.

estella and af.

choc cream chip frap is the bomb!

crazy people.

hahaha. them.

BFF! she planted a kiss on my cheek when i got my results. haha.

after waiting for such a long time.

threesome.

belo!

sheeka and fee.

wtf.

she laughed too much and nearly fell.

"merry had a little lamb..." by sheeka.

on the road.

whee.

again.

hahaa. posing only..

train.

in the cab home.

hunting and sheesha

2009-01-16T01:54:00.006+08:00

so i was awaken by my mother and was told she was going to malaysia with my brother and father. i stayed with my sister and we went out today with not much in mind. just wondering about looking for potential bags and shoes i like. i had my eye on this adidas watch that was gold plated. shweet. my brother in law was there as well along with us after work.

so when we were waiting for him at the fountain outside taka,
the wind was blowing so strongly.
i could have been blown away.
really, so strong.
as if something was not right.
giving me the creeps running down my spine.

as soon as we were done waiting...
we left to wisma and then to eat at my usual eatery.
PUNCAK.
since the first time i ate there, i have been eating the same old thing.
never changing and i intend to keep that record.
my bee hoon hong kong ayam!

it was even more interesting to see someone so unexpected.
wee tong,
was at one of the shoe shop selling shoes.
was calling out for me to buy the shoes.

we did alot more walking that my feet felt sore even until this time.
i need foot reflexology... haha.
and i saw this huge cockroach at plaza singapura's world of sports!
ewww.

lastly, when my parents got back from malaysia, they got my brother in law sheesha.
i did the testing.
hahaha.
mint was good.

AWESOME family

2009-01-14T02:10:00.005+08:00

so today was suppose to be a small celebration for my results. yes, my average on that is. so went to usual favourite place to have our dinner. had another close family relative to come. the 12 of us. my cousin came up to me and suddenly took out a box of ferrero rocce and handed it to me. haah. surprised but thankful. camwhored with my lovely cousins and family.

what surprises me the most was that my 58 year old parents were having hell of great time playing in the arcade with me and my siblings along with my aunty, uncle and my cousins. yes my parents. i cant say how cool can that be. like makcik with tudungs playing arcade with their children.

it was just nice seeing my parents so happy. like they are never too old for all this. i won my brother and dad in car racing. whoo hooo! hahaha.

my mother was so cute when she was trying to drive the huge lorry thing. and how she throws the basketball... she was indeed good at it. so i guess i knew where i got that from. my lovely mother.

we were playing at ehub arcade all the way until midnight. others were just staring at us. but who cares, we're just a family having fun together. really it was. perhaps you people should try it out too... ARCADE! hahah. afterwards when we went down to go home...
we somehow ended up in the bowling alley ... rolling balls bringing down pin balls. and this time i beat my brother again. hahaha

i love them.

O level results day

2009-01-14T01:50:00.005+08:00

so i woke up early. it felt weird putting on my uniform for somewhat the last time officially. and i wore it with great pride somehow. i will miss this uniform and certainly the school, teachers and FRIENDS. i put on my chairman badge with such care and i was happy just bacause i was wearing my uniform. so fast forward.. met victoria at tamp to have 'brunch' then went to school. saw this miracle plant growing on the bus window's ledge. fast forward again, took my results. to my surprise i did fine. but just fine, not to what i wanted. and so this girl got a 15 for her L1R5 and after -4 she got her final 11. so that was it. and this was how i spent my day....
miracle plant

with the bunch i love

for the friendship to grow

peculiar funny chick

some 10 years of friendship and counting

din with pen in his pocket. i just find it funny

after isyak

them

two awesomely genius friends i have 7-8

cute girl and carebear

lovely su and me

the date

2009-01-10T22:41:00.008+08:00

apparently it was suppose to be me, shikin, saiful, din, airil, muizz and huzairi. but the boys cant seem to make it. well done. so it turns out just the two babes going out on a date. hahah. it was all fun and laughter plus chaos though it was just the 2 of us. repaired my phone at wisma and it is to be collected on monday at 4pm. we went to eat at puncak. found the shoe i wanted but there was not size for me. ugh! got what my sister needed. we then made our way to raffles city to eat our BEN AND JERRY'S! and lastly camwhored at esplanade where we met shikin's friend, jessica. who was just sitting next to us and only noticed each other after quite sometime.
so here goes....

BELO !!!
quote of the day;
"@#$%*&@#....so hollow!" (by some random S with slang on train)

temasek poly open house and boys

2009-01-10T21:54:00.007+08:00

YESTERDAY. after their friday prayers at masjid alkaff near my house. i met them at the bus stop and made our way to tp. airil wasnt working, din,fazli and i werent training. we met naseer and sihui. soon left tp for marina square. was walking about when we saw saiful working at wallet shop. talked. left. went to visit shikin as she was working at starbucks millenia walk. enjoyed 20% off our drinks and even had a freen drink! haha. thanks love. let the pictures speak for me...
i was DAMN SELEKEH yesterday. ugh!

from left: shikin, din, me, fazli,airil

BESTFRIENDS! haha

cacat!

me and the boys

thinking hard over courses. ahah. macam paham!

LOL!

another LOL.

airil's artistic shot as he said. yeah right!

haha. only fazli understands this shot.

the cina clan! hahaha

before.

after.

mate kero!

advertiser.

hahah. body builder wannabe!

i was unglam but din was even more unglam!

quote of the day;
" ape ni! datang jauh jauh abeh makan kat foodcourt!?" by airil

awkward to not awkward at all

2009-01-10T21:50:00.003+08:00

that day. a day i cant remember when exactly. had picnic with rachelle and victoria at esplanade waterfront. brought my baked macaroni and they love it! whoo! hahah. later met others at mindcafe. however the situation was so awkward that vic and i left. and we went out together having more fun(:
i love her!

my lovely baked macaroni!

my tan line from the last time! ahah

with her new shades

bunch of foreigners going HOORAY!

out of boredom

2009-01-06T01:39:00.002+08:00

just so excited for later.
will be meeting up with victoria and rachelle for picnic at esplanade. yes at esplanade.
afterwards meeting the rest at dhoby and lastly to meet meow(:

haha.
ok that is all and i better knock off.

now shrek has reminded me not to shine too brightly while asleep cause i might wake him up.
cus im the star.

he says im sweet so im honeystar!!! (lameshits)
haha. if ive got songs i think u could play i'll tell u aite shrek!

bye!

the blue note

2009-01-06T01:05:00.004+08:00

sunday that is.
my dad, mom, second sister and i went to downtown to eat at hyder's parents shop. apparently his mom's ball kentang became my family's favourite dish. cus seriously we couldn't find ball kentang elsewhere. so after that bought extra satay from his stall and went over to my uncle's place.

so my father parked his car. i went out of the car and i was just looking on the grass patch when i saw something.

a small piece of paper lying on the grass.
on it was written 'majulah singapura' and the logo that seemd all too familiar.
i picked it up.
wondering what could it be.
who would do such a thing?

my mother hurried me off and we walked down the carpark.
when i showed my sister, she gasps.

she showed my mother and father.
and before we knew it, we were walking towards the parking lot.
where my dad's car stood still. (duhhh)

and so i went on searching on my findings.
only to find yet another 3 small pieces to complete the big picture.
again i wonder, who would do such a thing in the right state if mind?

it was real indeed. real.
if only it was meant to be.
the blue note would have been mine.
i would have been $50 richer now.
would have been.

(images were edited, believe it or not)

MJC shooting bbq

2009-01-06T00:31:00.004+08:00

it was on... i cant remember when exactly but it was recent. it was 2nd january or 3rd i suppose. met up with john at tampines. the first two to arrive surprisingly knowing that im the late queen. well i was still late to meet john. sorry man. haha. at least i was late for a reason. went shopping for groceries with my mom n brother at ntuc. he got this voucher worth $100 plus so yeah . it was awesome. got my prego sauce and my mozarella cheese to make my baked macaroni for the picnic coming up. so excited.

so afterwards went to mandarin gardens condo at marine parade for the bbq. the marinated chicken was awesome! love it. hhaha. they got liquor and they boys esp yam seng their way... ahaha. the girls spent most of our time at the playground. deprived childhood. but its ok we had fun. stayed till late and afterwards went to tampines century square to wait for dad. somehow, someone else was there. he came a tad late that he dint see me at the taxi stand cus ive left.
so here are the snapshots from the bbq. well only some. there's too many...

12:35 AM

2009-01-03T15:33:00.002+08:00

a man,
as old as he can be. he was a strong old man.
walking around smartly,
in his casual pants and grey polo tee. his black shoes were cleanly polished, as light was reflected from it.

oblivious to his surroundings.
he came to do what he might have been doing every morning at that time.
what he does best perhaps.
for only with that he might rely on for survival. despite the posh look i see.
i wonder what his family as in store for him?
rich or poor, i dont know.
what could make an old man do such a thing.
money.
but why?
i wouldn't let my father be in such state. never. a promise i would make.

choosing carefully and picking the best of what he has.
he dumps it to his treasure box. filled with all of the same things that he has found.
once he is done finding what he needed. he packed and left.

left for yet another bin on the roadsides.
picking empty cans that brings treasure to him.
that was why i called his ice box that he pulled around his treasure box.
and i was just there in the car, for my father was waiting fer the traffic to turn green.
i watch him in awe.
for he was an old man, determined as can be.

geylang si paku geylang

2009-01-03T14:50:00.003+08:00

first and foremost what was i doing at geylang? send my dad's shoe to the cobbler! haha. he's got his favourite shoe fixing place and apparently it is here. how awesome. it's called "hari hari datang buat kasut" also meaning "come everyday and make shoe". authentic name ehh situated at an authentic place. haha. at haig road. it's those by the road kind of shops so it's cool. so.....VINTAGE. haha. the cobbler was as vintage. apek in singlet sitting on a stool knocking on someone's shoe sole.

VANITY

yesterday i was awakened by shrill voice of my very beloved mother.
" ADIK!!! BANGON! IKOT MAK PERGI PASAR!"
and so i have to drag myself out of bed deprived of my beauty sleep as i slept at 5 am that morning. as usual i put on my uniformn to go to the market. yes uniform. my favourite pair of pants for pasar that matches with any top. couldn't be bothered with anything else. despite the fact that i am one who is pretty vain.

and so made our way there. with the big trolley which my mother often calls "trolley pasar" those that usually comes in 2 colours. red or blue. my mother went around with my sister while i tailed behind pushing the trolley, bumping into things and squeezing through the crowds though it was already afternoon. i expected lesser people. for the past few weeks i have been following my mother to the wet market and i noticed something. little girls dress up for wet market. i mean not that little. teenage girls. they wore thick make up. and one broke the record yesterday when i saw that she was wearing fake eyelashes. yes fake eyelashes. how can be i so sure? cause a part of it came off. WOW! what can self consciousness do to girls...

1st january the holiday!

2009-01-02T02:04:00.010+08:00

again the same few families.
always having plans together. i just love
them. a bowling day out at tampines safra.

this little devil,
there is this air hole at the bowling thing.
for those with sweaty palms to use, the wind blown will dry up the palms.
he stood there. place his head above the air hole as if blow drying his hair.
how cute can he get.
everyone was just laughing at him.
geraam seyy!
*ngapp!

when we were done. all the families went to changi village to eat. we thought of just sitting by the beach enjoying the cool breeze from the sea but a drizzle came and we parted from there.

new year celebration!!!

2009-01-02T01:16:00.005+08:00

31st December. the very last day of 2008.
it was pretty mundane. waking up and just doing my regular routine.
was torned apart between old and new friends.
yet the best choice has to be family.
to think of it again. the best people to spend my new year with is my family afterall.
yes my family.

a few guests at home delayed the plan.
later went to uncle's house over at hougang for a small gathering.
yes a small gathering. it was utter spontaneity.

it started this way. my dear lovely cousin rose and friend pit asked if i wanted to tag along. they wanted to go to the bank. it was at night uh. i tagged. from hougang mall we went to compass point (sengkang) to buy a cake, chocolate mousse. we got crackers and ice cream and some other things.

we couldn't find the IBC root beer that she wanted. so she brought us to her favourite 7-eleven outlet located at Anchorvalle. we got 8 bottles of that to pop at midnight. just a random thought; she went pass his house and that made my heart skipped a beat.

so back to what i was saying. we left. watched wild child! it was SHWEET! i love that movie. and when the clock turns 00:00

this is what happens... well at least i still got a close up on the fireworks! hahaha.

LOOK! prata! we ate that at 4 am luhh kay. after the veterans finish their karaoke. n guess what... a bloody neighbour of my uncle called on the police and they came knocking on our door. hahaha. give us a break man, it's new year! haahhah.

flashback

2009-01-02T00:13:00.003+08:00

lets flashback, just a year before.
or should i say a day before...oh well since i'm posting on the 2nd jan, 2 days ago.
2008.

that was history. a year filled with fond memories. tears and laughter all year round.
somethings have to be ended while others still continue to flourish in life.

love.
just like red roses which i am most fond of.
they bloom for a short while and soon it will wilt and die.
nevertheless i thank god to have met him.
to have been part of his life and have him as part of mine.
he may have been the one to make me cry but he is also the one to make me catch my breath.
hurtful as it may have been. it is part and parcel of life.
shazunah believes in picking herself up after she falls.
no matter how hard she may have fallen.
no matter how deep the cut is. she knows that time will heal.
she cant deny.
the love is indelible.
only god knows.

laughter.
they have always been there. im counting on them to always be there.
friends. GREATFUL.
really. that few words.
helping me through. making life a pleasant place to be surrounded by them.
just that few true great friends.
and i pray they remain true.
things shared. tears shed. together.
_ years and counting.

history is indelible.
that is true.
so why keep sad, miserable histories of my life when i can create new awesome ones.
a present that would soon be history.
here comes 2009...

nocturnal

2008-12-31T05:27:00.002+08:00

it's 5:25 am! and i'm still awake. sitting on my sofa bed. finally my blog is completed the way i wanted it to be. yet i'm not tired as i thought i would be. wasnt out at all today. a good girl staying home and doing the sweeping and the mopping.

afterwards all i did was watching gossip girl season 2! i like season 2 better than season 1 though. more interesting plots.

well to whom it may concern. i guess the 'chick' you're asking out for the nick and norah's cant make it. so i suppose it'll next year if the movie is still running yeah. really sorry bout that...

lastly, am i ready to move on to step 5? start flirting! and go out on a date when ive been asked?
i dont know and i better have an answer soon.

2008-12-31T00:44:00.001+08:00

the latest blog edition truly sucks as i couldnt get the skin i wanted and i have to bloody ass post this to preview an effing skin that was one of the best i could find. ugh!